Each beginner psychologist knows that the presence of both parents control a child's life are critical to develop and grow properly , the male and female model prepare him to adult life.
But what happens in a divorce, where children are removed from one of the parents against their will ?
As a divorced dad, I was hustled against my will from my children, 5 -year-old daughter and son who was only six months, by police and court restraining orders.
I fought to bring them back to me, to get a temporary stay despite their young age, and despite I lived far away from them (lack of choice when I left without a penny in my pocket). Today , five years later , I spend with my children 3 hours at Tuesday, and 24 hours every second weekend , only recently I get some more connection with my ex-wife, that allows me to spend a little more time with my kids , and it's still not enough compared to what I really want.
I know that my presence in their lives is very poor , although I am available for them 24/7 , and although they can contact me any time they want , yet , my influence on the soul strength, about their ability to cope with life , the ability of their socialization , and on their all entire lives .
The situation is particularly sensitive with youngest son. He has many difficulties in socialization, and has violent and fast outbursts to his friends in the garden and the staff , all due to poor self-esteem , desire to be socially acceptable in any situation , and will always feel belong .
These days we started with him two treatments concurrently - horseback riding to raise his confidence, and group therapy to purchase tools for proper socialization.
I am sure that if we'd had a normal divorce, both shared parenting and proper divorce agreement without alimony, my son and daughter lives were different.